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Published Unpublished. Submitted to Washington Post April 9, 2009

Coffee, Tea and Domestic Violence

by Irene Weiser

To: Washington Post Editors

Your article, “Some Link Economy With Spate of Killings” (April 8, pg. A03), makes a much appreciated effort to look at the staggering numbers of murder-suicides in the last few weeks as not just isolated incidents, but symptoms of a bigger problem.  The trouble is it missed naming the problem. 

The journalist turned to mass murder experts who speculated that the economy was to blame; to experts on gun violence who said that guns were the problem, and to a criminologist who said that finding a pattern was as difficult as reading tea leaves.  

Yet the mass murders in Pittsburgh, North Carolina, Washington, Alabama, and Los Angeles cited by the journalist share an obvious common denominator that no one seemed to notice. 

Jessie Jackson had it almost right when he said it was domestic terrorism, a war in our streets.  But it’s not a war in our streets, it’s a war in our homes. All the mass murders were caused by domestic violence.

Yes, there is a correlation between the economy and the increase in the frequency and severity of men’s violence against women, but the economic downturn is not the cause of men’s violence.  Many men are facing economic hardships but most do not resort to violence.  Yes, we need to get guns off the streets and out of our homes as they make the violence more lethal, but guns do not cause domestic violence. 

Domestic violence is caused by men’s choice to use power and violence to assert control over the women in their lives, and their belief that it is acceptable to do so.  It gets fueled by a culture that teaches that  “real men” are tough men, and that violence is a way to solve problems.

Where do men get the idea it’s acceptable to use violence to control women? Apparently it’s so acceptable - so much a part of our cultural milieu - that no one, not even experts or leading journalists, notices it’s occurring.  

It’s time to quit reading tea leaves, and wake up and smell the coffee.  Men’s violence against women and children is at epidemic levels in this country.  Every day 3-4 women are killed by the men who purport to love them.  Each year, as many women and children are killed as were killed on 9/11.  Every day, tens of thousands of women and children are severely injured by men’s violence against them.  Domestic terrorism? You bet.  Too bad it has to spill into the streets before anyone takes notice.

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